Tenacious T

Tristan is 7and ridiculously HILARIOUS...


Tristan's Classmate: Hey Tristan, check out my new skateboard.
Tristan: Yeah, that's cool but I got a new scooter for Christmas.
Tristan's Classmate: Scooters are for little girls!
Tristan: That's why your dad has one.
Tristan's Classmate: That doesn't make any sense.


Tristan decided to hold the door open for an elderly lady at the store...

Elderly Lady: Why thank you, kind sir.
Tristan: No problem toots!


Talking to one of my friends...

My girlfirend: Tristan, how'd you get to be so smart?
Tristan: I don't know.
My girlfriend: And handsome? And deep? And so cool?
Tristan: Well, isn't this some chicken soup for my soul?


Asking him where he wanted to go for family vacation...

Jay: Tristan, how about the San Diego Zoo?
Tristan: How about not?
Jay: I'm sure they have a petting zoo and everything.
Tristan: Dad, I don't pet anything that smells like butt.


All I have to say is...Tristan is DOPE!

Cheers to 2010

Dear 2010,

Since you are going to be around for the next 364 days, I wanted to formally greet you. FYI, your counterpart, 2009, promised to be a stellar one, but it lacked the follow through. So, bend over, 2010, I’m going to rock you like Tony Danza, because I will be your boss.

I thought I would let you in on some tips for our journey together.

*Bring on the exercise. Seriously. Not only does it feel oh-so good but it always puts me in an amazing mood. Though our schedule is hectic, we will make time to unearth that thin girl we once knew.

*Let’s make this a year of living thriftily. This means money needs to be SAVED not SPENT. I give you permission to kick my arse if I begin to forget this little goal we’re setting. Starting AFTER my 30th birthday!!!

*We are going to learn to schedule our time. Whatever that means. But, we will figure out what that is, and do it.

*The house will be clean. Not just when we’re having company, but at all times. This will be the BIGGEST chore of them all (especially with typhoon Omax).

*Lose the Losers. I’ve got no time for people who are insincere and fake. This seems like a good year to pick the weeds.

*Our family WILL be going on vacation this year. I don’t care where we go as long as it is away from here. We are overdue for an adventure of epic proportions. Watch out (anywhere), here we come!

*Sewing. I so want to be a phenomenal seamstress and make all the wonderfully fun things I create in my head. So, bernette 46, you and I are going to be close friends.

*Jay and I are going to spend more time together ALONE. He is my everything and I will make sure to take the time to show him that. Quality time. Not just boom chicka wah-wahing, fool. But that too.

*Aerosmith Hohner Honkin on Bobo Harmonica, it’s on! I have the most beautiful harmonica and it sits on my dresser. I love, love, love the harmonica and have an undying urge to play the blues. Oh, and we will.

Farewell, 2009. You were a year of many lessons.

CHEERS to 2010! I know we can do it!!!

Love,

Rev Cindawg

Cindawg Schmarts

This year I think I've finally discovered who I am- and she's pretty damn COOL if you ask me! I've also learned that life is what you make it. So, Just Do It. Nike.

Here is a RANDOM list of things I've learned this year:

* Loyalty is hard to find
* Always trust your instincts- especially when it comes to people
* Purple Kool-Aid makes you shit green
* I don’t need anyone’s approval but mine
* I secretly want to be a merkin model
* I cannot stand the sight of open cabinet doors
* Jay truly is my Soul Mate
* Simply trying is half the battle
* Human Nature
* Gratitude, Humility & Forgiveness
* Let it Be
* Flavor is the sweetest thing in life
* Attitude is everything
* Music is my refuge
* Stay Foolish

And, here are two of my favorite quotes by two of my favorite people…

I'd rather be the king of kids, than the prince of fools.
~Jack Black

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

this chick.

Dude lady, if you talk about your own family that way, I can only imagine how you talk about me. I'm going to file you in the "don't trust you as far as I can throw you" folder as you are NOT my kinda peeps.

You've been schooled by TENACIOUS T

I'm pretty quick witted and often amaze myself even but Tristan is by far quicker than I. So, I've decided to start sharing all of his sarcastically AWESOME, yet sometimes out-there dialogues. I like to call them Tristan-isms. Here is his most recent episode:

Wal-Mart Lady: What beautiful kids you have.
Me: Thank you.
Wal-Mart Lady: 3 boys, huh?
Tristan: No. One girl.
Wal-Mart Lady: Oh! She looks so much like you two.
Tristan: Yeah well, she has a vagina.

While I know most mothers would be appalled, I applaud his far-out ability to say what's on his mind. He always sticks up for the underdog, is hilarious, oh-so handsome, brilliant, and definitely has an older soul than mine. Tristan BLOWS MY MIND!!!

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. WORD.

And speaking of private parts, I would think probably the worst thing about having King Kong go rampant in your town would be the huge, monster genitalia.

Moshi Moshi

Cheers to the CHAOS that is me and my foul-mouthed family of five. I'm convinced that I am Ol' Dirty Bastard stuck in a woman's body. So, if you think you can handle my Andrew Dice Clayness and often obscenely bizarre-o adventures, WELCOME!

Let me officially start this blog by saying.....PENIS! Did I forget to mention that I have Intentional Tourette's?